I turn twenty tomorrow. I
know it’s not that old to some people, but it’s going to be the oldest I’ve
ever been.
Each birthday, I tend to get
rather nostalgic, and this year I happened to be reading some old columns I had
written for my high school newspaper. It’s crazy that many of the things I
wrote about then still pertains to my life today. And strange enough, very
first column I ever wrote stuck with me the most.
“I’m in no hurry.”
The
words rang in my ears as I tapped my foot and repeatedly checked my watch. I
had a can of dry roasted almonds in my left hand and some orbit peppermint gum
in my right.
The man in front of me had a cart full of
groceries and when he looked behind him, he saw a frantic girl who appeared to
be pressed for time, so he said; “You can go in front of me”—
When I didn’t respond, he continued by saying;
“I’m in
no hurry.”
At first, I was taken aback. Why had he
offered me this?
Right
away, I realized I was tapping my foot and glancing at my watch every 10
seconds.
Then
I began to think; Where am I going after this? Why am I so frantic? Am I in a
hurry? Should I be? Was my impatience that obvious?
The
gentleman gazed back at me with a slight smile on his face. He was older and
appeared to be in no hurry at all.
I
graciously accepted his offer and went on my way, but as I left and drove home,
his words replayed themselves in my thoughts.
“I’m in no hurry.”
Looking back at my week, I realized I was
acting as if I were in a hurry every day. I would fidget my way through the
lines at Starbucks, I would anticipate the end of my shift at work, I would
carelessly push the speed limits while going places. Never once was I late for
anything, though.
Time
after time I was seeking instant gratification, I was frustrated with having to
wait for anything, I was constantly needing to be doing something.
My
week was a blur of rushed memories.
“I’m in
no hurry.”
The
words clouded my thoughts as I sat immobile in the parking lot. I soon realized
it wasn’t just that week, I had been rushing through so many things in my
life.
I rushed through anything school-related. I
rushed through the time I spent with my friends, I rushed through family
dinners.
I
was letting each day sprint on as I failed to appreciate what the day brought
me. Memories, happiness; my childhood.
“I’m in no hurry.”
With
every day I raced to get to the end of, I let slip away one more piece of my
childhood that I had left to cherish.
My
entire life I knew what the next year would bring. First preschool then
kindergarten, then on to first grade, then second and so on. Now it is senior
year, 12th grade, and the thought of where I will be next year, who
I will be next year, and what I will be doing next year is terrifying because I
can’t answer these questions.
Not
only can I not answer these them, but as each day passes, next year approaches.
My ambiguous future is creeping up behind me and all I want to do is go back to
preschool where nap time was routine.
I’m in no hurry
I’m
in no hurry to get to the front of the line. I’m in no hurry to finish the day.
I’m in no hurry to grow up.
What
I really need to do is appreciate each day as it comes. I need to appreciate
the friends I surround myself with. I need to appreciate the time I have with
my family. I need to appreciate my time as a kid.
“I’m in no hurry.”
The
kind man who said those words to me had no idea what inner dialogue he had
provoked in me, but it was something I needed to hear.
I need to calm down, take a deep breath and
remember that
“I’m in no hurry.”
I
eventually arrived at my destination; my home.
I
walked in and saw my family in the living room, so I joined them.
I
opened my can of dry roasted almonds and smiled as I savored the time with my
family;
“I’m in
no hurry.”
Taking advice from myself is
definitely the hardest thing to do, and I still have yet to master the art of
doing so, but it’s a battle that I am willing to work at every day. I may never
master it, but I will never stop trying to be a better me.
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